Walking through the planes of life.

Time just flies by…

…when work is so boring you watch old Glee eps all day. originally Rachel’s two gay dads were black and white and not famous actors. lol way to rewrite the story.

There will not be a service of any kind, and we, his friends in college, get told nothing about the circumstances. We get NOTHING. No closure.

Long weekend ahead and i got no plans. I need to start going back to the gym even if it is by myself. Improving myself ifs what life is about right?

I got an early birthday present: cans of spray paint! Cant wait to try them out but i have to get something to practice on.

David Scherer

Yesterday, around 11A.M. i think, my friend killed himself.

We met freshman year, we lived in the same dorm. He quickly became a part of my group that played Dungeons and Dragons for hours and hours on the weekends. He was the only one that went with me to my failure of an audition for RENT when my college was performing it. He was my roommate sophomore year in a 4man apartment just me and him. That was when i really got to know him. I left halfway through the year to live off campus and try for residency in my state. I visited every now and then to hang out with the group on weekends or whatever, but we lost touch after this past fall when i wasn’t in any of the D&D campaigns. the past semester i was back in classes and was on campus a ton, but we never saw each other much as he kept to his apartment, and i at the library, classroom or my bed as you know it was a busy semester for me. I was also spending time with new friends that were in my classes. He wanted to hang out once, but i already had plans and i did invite him, but he declined the offer.

You see, he was very anti-social(he even admitted to me once that it took him a few weeks to start liking our group of friends) and i asked him once if he was Asexual, because he was never interested in any girls OR guys, to which he responded that he was Asexual, though he has had sex, a threesome even.

I was hearing things, signs the past couple of months, like he was drinking the wine that they supposedly bought for cooking, heavily enough to throw it up. Another thing was he was left alone most Fridays and weekends because the guys he lived with had girlfriends or places to go. I also heard his World of Warcraft guild that he had friends in and was a big part of his life for many many years broke up for good.

I know these are signs, but i never thought he’s kill himself, but yesterday on his Facebook he posted his lifespan date-to-date a little after ten.

I know i wasn’t his best friend or even his roommate for the longest, but still. It’s hard. I cried, i cried so hard i broke down and was sobbing. the thing was i so easily and immediately felt myself distance myself from my emotions even as i was crying. It hurt so bad and i want to feel it and get it over with but i know im holding it in, possibly because if i let it all out he will be gone forever and i dont know if im ready for that. I’m also scared that bad things are still to come, as you know they always happen in threes.

Rest in Peace, my friend. You stupid idiot, did you really think you were done experiencing life?! I love you.

Summer 2

Hey people that follow me for what i hope is more than wanting to see nude pics of me cuz as you can see i do those like every six months hah.

Anyway i haven’t updated in a while because this past week was finals. Man did they suck. I test horribly, multiple choice is my best friend. Im hoping for C’s and B’s. My biggest threat that some may remember i am retaking a class for the third and final time and if i don’t pass it with a C then i have to change my major. the thing is…i made a 67.52. that’s a D by the grading scale. FUCK.

but…when i view my final grades for the semester, i see a C…so i don’t know if i am getting a C or what…this is a major grade affecting the rest of my life and i’m freaking out a little bit.

I’m gonna assume i’m passing by the skin of my teeth and/or ass and continue with my class schedule.

in other news, i start work on Tuesday. Monday i have to fill out the paperwork and get drug tested, so i’m also going to do other errands ive needed to do for a month or so.

I have a question for ya, if y’all read this…how old are you? and why are you following  me? you don’t have to answer both or either, but i would appreciate the feedback :)

Anonymous asked: Hi. I stumbled upon your Tumblr here and I'd just like to tell you that based on those recent pictures you uploaded of yourself, you are by no means an unattractive person. The gay dating scene based on my experience can be very superficial, but as I'm sure you've heard before, whoever you end up with will appreciate and/or love you for the person you are, not necessarily whether you're hot or not. Best of luck with your studies and think more highly of yourself, you're a handsome guy. :-)

I appreciate this more than i can say. Thank you SO much! Its just really rough having to wait for the person that will appreciate and love me, which I’m sure you know. Again, thank you.

These past few weekends…

…i’ve been getting kinda depressed. I think its a mix of loneliness, stress, and the fact that i need to study but because of the being depressed i dont feel like doing it. Yay circular problems.

ive been doing all-nighters during the weeks too which is really unlike me but i suppose if i start hardcore studying and no video games until final are over in two weeks i might actually pass my classes alright.

I really want some cuddle/fucking right now. i think it might make it better.

tuffnruff asked: School/work first, then cock. That's how you get ahead. When you're in your thirties guys look first at your paycheque, and then your cock/ass.

Sir, yes, sir.

That Grindr moment when…

After pleading to see your picture and reassuring you that you probably don’t look that bad, they block you immediately after they had enough time to see it and laugh.

Way to try to fuck someone up. Good thing i already think poorly of myself. You sounded like a twink anyway. Hope you get an std.

I should have worked on schoolwork this weekend but i was just in a major funk and depressed all day. even when some friends came over to grill out.

I’m not doing good in school and i need to fix that. So im still up at 12:30. Fuck.

Negative

That is all.

This Week…THIS WEEK!

So i came back from break knowing i would have a couple of tests and a project. I really should have checked to see exactly what i was coming back to. I had a coding project i hadn’t even started due Monday at midnight (Fuck), Circuits homework due Tuesday(longasshit), a German Test Wednesday(meh), and the THREE tests Thursday! and a project due after all of them! there is no way i could have been able to do it all and study for all of those tests. I was seriously stressed up until Wednesday. That morning i found German class was cancelled so the test would be Friday, and a teacher got back to me if i could take a test later, which he allowed for me to take it 8:30 Monday(WOOT!). I was also allowed to turn in the second project by Saturday. Once i found all that out i was so relieved . I still did poorly on my Math test, but i think i did fine on the Circuits test.

And then after i found out that things were swinging my way i get a message from the health department of a nearby city saying someone i messed with gave them my name as a partner and are informing me they would like to test me for, i later found out, HIV…i get the results by tuesday…so yeah.

Seriously though…

I’m not a drunk i just like being drunk sometimes and i’m not a slut but i like having sex some times.

Spring Break 2

Hey guys its been a while. Been busy with classes and not understanding the material. Ugh i feel bad and i crush myself a bit every time i look at homework.

Spring Break is next week but i cant do anything fun because i have a dentist appointment on Wednesday smack dab in the middle :(. Doesnt matter cuz i need to study anyway. i have four tests the week after, German on Monday and the rest all on Thursday. Fuck i hate Thursday…tomorrow’s Thursday isnt it…fuck.

I hope some of you actually read this shit. I’ve been in a slump and knowing that would pick me up a bit. eh whatever, im just asking for some recognition.

Been working out, i think i can start to see some definition! woo

Anonymous asked: where you from sexay? ;]

oh, idk Anon, maybe you should look through my posts :P FROM Atlanta, GA, USA